The Ugly Truth About Being Obsessed To Growth

What are your areas of growth? How are you strategizing your improvement?

As a young negresse from a country that has always been stigmatized, I feel like I owe it to my ancestors and those who invested in me to always be on top of things. They fought for me to be here, so the least I can do is not waste the space I occupy on this planet. This has been my narrative since I was a little girl. Consequently, I have been committed to transcendence for as long as I can remember.

I credit myself for being a growth guru. I am obsessed with becoming the best version of myself. However, if I am being totally transparent, this mindset also makes me EXTREMELLY impatient with myself.

I set goals, milestones and a timeline. Whenever things do not happen as I anticipated, I get down; I internalize my miscalculations as failures.

Frankly, this happens more often than I would like to admit.
Indeed, I have those days. Days when I am down, not feeling my best self at all. It usually takes me a moment to realize that ephemeral melancholy is more harming than constructive.

Missing a milestone does not reroute me. Whether I miss or reach a milestone, I will still reach my destiny.

In addition, I am just a drop of water in an ocean. God has this whole thing figured out. Therefore, I should leave him in charge of the timing.

#bloggerinluxembourg #lifeinluxembourg

Sis, You Matter

Recently, I found myself pondering on a question. Am I making the experience of being a woman better for other women in my life?

The journey of womanhood is such a confusing, challenging and painful one. So, we should NOT judge sisters when we see them struggling. We should instead reach out and offer our help.

But also accept that they may not be ready for the help that we are offering, because they are not there yet on their journey, and that is okay. In that case, we are to merely hold space for them, compassionately listen to the story of their pain; in other words, listen without judgment, without trying to fix them.

Also, there are cases when their toxic behaviors can potentially be triggers for us or even offensive to our aura or harmful to our peace of mind. Then, it requires another level of wisdom to not make it about us, to not focus on the pain they are projecting and trying to inflict on us, but to see the causes behind their toxic attitudes, behind their pain, the paradigm that is causing them to adhere to this dysfunctional lifestyle as oppose to a healthy one. Sometimes, we might need to distance ourselves a bit and let them know they can turn to us whenever they are ready to begin their healing process.

Society is already so harsh, cruel and oppressive with us. So, our sisters don’t need our judgment, they need our ears, our understanding, our support, and more importantly our love, so they can be reminded that we are all on this journey called life together; thus, they don’t have to drown in their sea of pain alone.

Sisters, I see you.  I hear you. I understand you. I support you. I love you.