Recently, I found myself pondering on a question. Am I making the experience of being a woman better for other women in my life?
The journey of womanhood is such a confusing, challenging and painful one. So, we should NOT judge sisters when we see them struggling. We should instead reach out and offer our help.
But also accept that they may not be ready for the help that we are offering, because they are not there yet on their journey, and that is okay. In that case, we are to merely hold space for them, compassionately listen to the story of their pain; in other words, listen without judgment, without trying to fix them.
Also, there are cases when their toxic behaviors can potentially be triggers for us or even offensive to our aura or harmful to our peace of mind. Then, it requires another level of wisdom to not make it about us, to not focus on the pain they are projecting and trying to inflict on us, but to see the causes behind their toxic attitudes, behind their pain, the paradigm that is causing them to adhere to this dysfunctional lifestyle as oppose to a healthy one. Sometimes, we might need to distance ourselves a bit and let them know they can turn to us whenever they are ready to begin their healing process.
Society is already so harsh, cruel and oppressive with us. So, our sisters don’t need our judgment, they need our ears, our understanding, our support, and more importantly our love, so they can be reminded that we are all on this journey called life together; thus, they don’t have to drown in their sea of pain alone.
Sisters, I see you. I hear you. I understand you. I support you. I love you.
The Haitian Girl 