I Think I Am in Love You

Is it love? Or just a blinding fantasy?

I want to plant roots with you, but I am scared you won’t help me water them. 

I want to show you my imperfections, but I am scared you will only belittle me. 

I want to let you in, but I am scared you will only cause damage.

I want to share and make sense of  life with you, but I am scared you will only take me for granted.

You make me want to grow, but you sometimes bring out a ‘lesser version’ of me. 

You give me a feeling of resonance, but also make me spin inside a perpetual cycle of self-doubt.

Being close to you mostly gives me solace, but also a twinge in my heart, a tornado of emotions. 

I am in awe of you, but also want to cut you out. 

I want to run to you, but also away from you.

What is it? Is your devilish quiet charisma? Is it trauma bonding? Is it because you are a riddle for me to solve? Is it the subconscious or ancestral forces at work? Is it the little things you do? Is it our shared interests and passions? Is it because you keep me striving to understand who I am and expand beyond myself?

When it comes to you, my mind skips right past a logical explanation. I think I am in love with you or I am just caught in a blinding fantasy. 

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